Untitled Revisionist Western Project Brainstorms
Brainstorm for Chapter One:
Beat 1 (full beat) - The Dying Frontier: The reader sees that the "Old West" is being choked out by "Progress" (train tracks, lawyers, or fences). The myth is already rotting.
- “choke” - fences, super high fences everywhere?
- the railroad is coming, which town will it go to? The land is perfect (for the railroad) and equal to go to either town.
- town - normal western town? Some rich families, some dirtbag families, town is becoming established, a couple generations.
- two towns? One “hippy town”, one “capitalist town”
Beat 2 (half beat) - The Drifter’s Burden: Introduce the protagonist. They aren't a hero; they are a survivor with a specific internal conflict or a sin they are trying to outrun.
- main character a white dude? Lizard man? Lizard lady? Gay lizard lady? Evil child?
- a person from hippy town is compelled to leave hippy town and go to capitalist town, because of their “sin”. They misbehaved in hippy town and is shunned and driven to go to capitalist town and will try and stop the railroad from going to capitalist town.
- We see a little flashback hinting at the “sin” - a bloody knife, their mom saying “How dare you, get out of my house/this town” or whatever.
- the protagonist is working to get the railroad to go to hippy town so that they can return to hippy town a hero later on; their “sin” will be forgiven if they can make this railroad thing happen for hippy town. At least they think that is how it will go down.
Brainstorm for Chapter Two:
Beat 2 (half beat) - The Drifter’s Burden: Introduce the protagonist. They aren't a hero; they are a survivor with a specific internal conflict or a sin they are trying to outrun.
Beat 3 (full beat) - Crossing the Line: The characters enter a lawless "No Man’s Land" or a town controlled by a singular, corrupt force. They make a choice to stay for a reason that isn't purely "good" (money, revenge, or lack of options).
- we know her overall quest but when she gets to town maybe things instantly shift.
- does she go directly to town or to the shanty town between the two towns, where the railroad people are camped up.
- talks to the railroad people, or overhears them, or finds a note. She figures out what the railroad wants from a town for it to connect to it. Therefore having a plan of what to sabotage in Blackridge to get the railroad to choose Eden's Drift.
- Does Eden's Drift even want the railroad? Would the railroad connecting to Eden's Drift destroy or weaken that town in some way, because it is so non-industrial? Is her plan foolish and she can't see it because she doesn't understand the town and has always been an outsider even though she is from there?
- Her mother kicked her out, but does her dad (the stagecoach man) agree with this action? It's possible at some point her dad comes to get her in Blackridge.
- As her dad is a stagecoach man, would the railroad coming to their town impact his job in a bad way? Or a good way, or whatnot? Something to explore at some point maybe.
- Is there a sexy boy who rides shotgun in the stagecoach? Will he be a love interest for Kiona, or the dad??? Or does he exist at all.
- In this universe, does a woman with a short hair cut mean something? Is that why she cut her hair off?
- She goes into Blackridge after finding out the info from the railroad men. She finds a place to stay or eat? Saloon? General Store/Boarding house?
Brainstorm for Chapter Three
Beat 4 (full beat) - The Ominous Peace: A warning from a local or a chilling sight (a row of empty graves, a burnt-out homestead) that tells them the "law" here is lethal. They ignore it.
Beat 5 (half beat) - The Shaking of Hands: First contact with the antagonist. Instead of a shootout, it’s a tense dialogue or a display of "civilized" cruelty. The hero realizes this person can’t be dealt with using simple "frontier justice."
- Kiona sees in town (“chilling sight”) maybe:
- people stapled to the wall, signs that say they didn’t pay their debts/bankrupt/didn’t hit their quotas for the q/called in sick???
- maybe a hanging with a this person is poor sign. Or any kind of killing.
- Kiona enters town, sees a crowd or hears cheering and goes to see what it is and sees the hanging scaffold?? Lots of ads, sponsored by, etc. bikini girl with sign, like a ring girl (to piss off Kiona even more??
- maybe Kiona sees the banker at the hanging and confronts him, she is a rebel, etc.??? her blood is boiling, she can’t help herself. Maybe although she was not a fit for Eden’s Drift, she still finds the capitalism of Blackridge to be gross, so some of Eden’s Drift’s morals are in her after all. She’s just mouthy. Hahaha.
Warning from a local:
- maybe she runs into someone she used to know, someone from Eden’s Drift, who she was told was dead. But when someone is ousted from Eden’s Drift, it is told around that town that they died, but maybe they didn’t, like what happened to her old friend (and what is likely happening to her own name in Eden’s Drift now???).
- this emphasizing that Eden’s Drift is more of a façade. Blackridge might be nasty and cruel, but it is more honest.
- this friend she finds in the crowd around the hanging scaffold?? Friend can fill her in on some Blackridge lore?? Suggest a place for Kiona to stay, etc.
Antagonist maybe:
- the banker/young banker/banker’s son (so she can seduce him?) maybe she can’t strike at the head of the snake, she has to strike at the tail/the main antagonist maybe the dad, but she can get to the dad via the son, or daughter, or wife?
- maybe Kiona goes to the tavern/inn and is talking with the woman there, a young man comes in, Kiona finds out he is the son of the banker, the innwoman, the wife of the banker. Now she has a target or two??
Kiona’s seduction plan:
- maybe she starts off wanting to seduce the son to get to the father, but then meets the wife, and she and the wife have actual chemistry with each other. Maybe the wife is young and pretty, because the banker is an old rich man, so he has a pretty, young wife??
Brainstorm for Chapter Four
Beat 5 (half beat) - The Shaking of Hands: First contact with the antagonist. Instead of a shootout, it’s a tense dialogue or a display of "civilized" cruelty. The hero realizes this person can’t be dealt with using simple "frontier justice."
Beat 6 (full beat) - The Blood in the Dust: The first act of irrevocable violence. A side character dies or the hero is humiliated. The "rules" of the West have officially broken.
- are there more people in the stagecoach by the dais? Is this stagecoach man of this stagecoach meaningful?
- humiliation of Kiona might be the better choice, keep Elm around for a while yet
- Does Kiona rush the stage, risking the ire of the still gathered crowd?
- Elm explains that Santornio was her husband and by volunteering to jump in the hole their (her) debts are all forgiven. Do they have kids?
- Kiona causes a ruckus with a guard or something and is given a fine she cannot pay, maybe she flashes her knife, maybe attacks someone. nothing arrestable, just finable. this is the "violence"??
- Does Elm go back to work or does she get the afternoon off because her husband was the willing? Elm works at the bank (The Blackridge Vault and Trust), Kiona goes with her. To exchange her money from Eden's Drift to Blackridge dollary-doos? She gets ripped off in the exchange and Kiona erupts in violence?? Gets the fines that way? They see her knife when she dumps it out to find her ED dollary-doos, fine her for that.
- the banker's wife is there, sees Kiona's troubles, asks the guards to bring Kiona to her. the wife offers to pay the fine, she can tell Kiona is not from Blackridge, because of her clothes, wife has some plan, or is just attracted to Kiona.
- OR On the way to the bank, some men come and harass her, Kiona explodes into violence and she gets in trouble that way??
- OR Kiona jumps into the pit and finds the monster inside, rescues Sarbonio?? Kills the monster?? She gets into trouble that way. The monster is central to their city. The bankers son or wife gets Kiona out of the pit and into their clutches?? Elm's debts are not paid off if Sarbonio survives??
Brainstorm for Chapter Five
Beat 7 (whole beat) - The Long Walk: The characters are hunted or forced into a grueling journey through a hostile landscape (the desert, a blizzard). Nature is just as much an enemy as the antagonist.
Beat 8 (half beat) - The Hollow Victory: A confrontation occurs where the hero "wins" a small battle but loses something vital (their horse, their gear, or their moral high ground). They realize their old skills aren't enough.
- the ships that are in space, connect?
- the railroad company wants to make a space train that connects the ships in space?
- name the new characters
- the engineer knows what is supposed to happen, but maybe things are going wrong, or he doesn’t know everything
- the old woman and the girl would pair up? Would the gramma take good care of the girl, like she does her flower in a pot or not? She would be a nurturer by nature, perhaps. But maybe she is crazy or a misanthrope, maybe takes care of the girl incorrectly, and fucks the girl up?
- does the guard still have his weapon? Would he be dominant or the strong silent type, standing back and watching before any action?
- when the ships connect, is there a breeding floor, a place where useless people are made into food?
- does the little girl get killed? By the gramma?
- there is something wrong with the ship that they took off in, meaning they have a need to link up and transfer into another ship? Low oxygen?
Brainstorm for Chapter Six
Beat 8 (half beat) - The Hollow Victory: A confrontation occurs where the hero "wins" a small battle but loses something vital (their horse, their gear, or their moral high ground). They realize their old skills aren't enough.
Beat 9 (whole beat) - The Desert of the Soul (Darkest Hour): The hero is isolated, injured, or betrayed. The connection between their past sin and their current predicament becomes painfully clear. They realize they are becoming the thing they hate.
- the gang is put into a holding cell before they are put into their assigned areas (engineering room, protein management, breeding floor, etc)
- what did kiona do to get kicked out of eden’s drift? Kill her neighbor, or stab him. Turns out he was elm’s dad. Not her known dad, but her secret, real dad only known to elm and elm’s mom. Kiona tells elm about what she did, and elm turns against her because she stabbed her dad?? Kiona did this after Elm had already been kicked out of town so she didn’t know until now. Elm decides she will join the train consortium.
- maybe there is a situation where is elm gives up some info she will get better treatment, kiona is offered the same thing. Kiona refuses, elm turns on kiona at this point, kiona is betrayed in that way and elm is separated from the group??
- what does kiona hate (so she can become it). She hates eden’s drift?? She hates the hypocricy? Secrecy?? Maybe the ethos of the new ship drives her to both appreciate how eden’s drift had been run and hate it even more as she is driven to begin playing both sides in some way to save her own skin??
- the golden guards at the new ship indicate a link to blackridge or maybe if a city has a hidden ship they also have golden guards??
- kiona disengages the ships and takes off with it and lives on the moon????
- kiona accidently cuts her mom and that’s why she was kicked out of eden’s drift???
Brainstorm for Chapter Seven
Beat 10 (whole beat) - The Unpleasant Truth: The hero gains new information—perhaps the "villain" is technically in the right, or the "victim" they were helping is actually the architect of the chaos. The hero must find a new reason to fight.
Beat 11 (half beat) - Riding Toward the Sun: The hero stops running and turns back toward the source of the conflict. This isn't for glory; it’s for a personal, gritty necessity.
- cut down on the Kionas somehow. They all die? They were hatched too early, turn into ooze. Or the Kionas and the aliens go to another part of the ship to continue their freedom charge or the main group peels off and goes to another ship while the Kionas and aliens stay in this ship.
- does Kiona hate to be hated? She has always been the black sheep, she wants to be accepted for who she is. Now there are a thousand Kionas and they are all celebrated? Does she have to prove something now?
- Do the main heros go to the bridge, take control of the ship? Go to the sandwich level and find out where that Kiona found that sandwich?
- What is Kiona's reason to fight? At this point, survival? Now she wants to find out who is making all these clones of her??
- Edgar (the engineer) is secretly the captain? Maybe someone on the ship recognizes him, says "oh captain, what are you doing down here?" and his captainness is made known to the group. Is he possibly evil? Possibly weird (making Kiona clones)?
- Was golden robe naked man killed in the fray or is he still someone they could work toward?
- They go to the next ship and wander through different times in Kiona's life? Different aged Kiona clones, Kiona's village. Each ship is weirder and weirder.
Brainstorm for Chapter Eight:
Beat 11 (half beat) - Riding Toward the Sun: The hero stops running and turns back toward the source of the conflict. This isn't for glory; it’s for a personal, gritty necessity.
Beat 12 (whole beat) - The Price of the Lead: During the final approach, the hero must confront their internal conflict. To win the "Western" fight, they have to kill the "Western" myth they’ve been living.
- is Commissioner Zefacato the same gold man that they talked to on the ship? Maybe, or is it just that higher ups in this Railway Consortium all have a golden robe outfit?
- the "western myth" is the train, what it means as change to traditional ways of life and technology moving forward, captiatilism, etc.
- the western myth is maybe Kiona wanting to be a hero, she must give it up?
- now they know the ship and both cities are now underground, so Kiona would likely want to get back to Eden's Drift? So she has to go through the ships to get to the city? Her father is there? The neighbour she attacked is still alive and on the ship?
- Some Kiona clones are dead, some are still alive. Time to decide how many Kionas are useful to bring along to the next ship or to the city?
- The aliens are obsessed with Kiona? They made all those clones of her. We can still use the idea of Kiona going through the ships, each ship is a piece of her childhood. we can use this to flesh out Kiona's backstory, including her father, mother, neighbour. Kiona can go on this trip alone or with as many people as we still have available. Since these are clones (with alien tech that gave everyone the memories of the orignals), Kiona can interact with the townspeople in a new way, unpacking her own estrangement from the town.
- chapter nine (not this but next chapter), is the big confrontation, so don't forget to set this up at the end of this chapter.
- maybe the next ship is a sort of dry run for the aliens, what if Eden's Drift got the railway connection? but they abandoned the idea and let it run on and now the place is overrun by Chuggernaughts, half man, half trains, that they fought in the previous chapter. maybe unevolved Chuggernauts, weaker, more trainlike than the one they fought?
- should Edgar die in some self sacrifice way, to morally pay for his complicity in the evil alien plan? he could give Kiona information about her dad and somehow lose his life getting her to a place where she can return to Eden's Drift, where her family still is??
- Who should we bring to the final conflict? Should Edgar be a part of the final push and die there?
- Where does the neighbour factor into this?
Brainstorm for Chapter Nine
Beat 13 (full beat) - The Final Stand: The ultimate confrontation. It isn't a fair duel at high noon; it’s messy, desperate, and probably involves a sacrifice. The hero chooses whether to remain a "monster" or die a "human."
Beat 14 (half beat) - The Bitter Aftermath: Show the fallout. The antagonist is gone, but the town is still broken, or the "Progress" (the train) arrives anyway. The hero’s actions changed the players, but not the world.
- Final Stand: Kiona, her 2 clones, Zefecato, Kiona’s Dad. Maybe Sarbonio? Was it Sarbonio all along? Twist!
- Ride the carriage to Eden’s Drift. Eden’s Drift looks essentially as she remembers it. The tree in middle of town is where Zefecato has created a giant golden castle, it is twisted and mutated but still there, part of the structure? Kiona tries to attack with her knife but Zefecato’s powers stop that, she snaps off a piece of the tree and stabs Zefecato in the eye, he dies??
- no one notices the carriage coming into town, middle of the night? Villagers just assume it is normal transporting of Zefecato’s stuff? Villagers are scared and hide in their houses all the time?
- the carriage goes straight to Kiona’s dads house? Attached to the castle?
- she interacts with her father or Zefecato first? Fight Zef first, confronts father after, he can survive for the last chapter drama?
- guards at the castle? Does Zef know they were coming and has a clear path to him, he is super powerful so is not scared of them and allows them to find him easily. His alien powers mean no normal weapon can harm him, but a tree branch is not a normal weapon, so he can be killed with it. Kiona throws her knife and it doesn’t work, so she uses the tree.
- Kiona clones might have weapons, because weapons could have been in the carriage.
- when they come upon Zef, he is doing some weird alien thing? Eating weird?
- a little dialogue before the battle, zef mocking her, she angry and sad. He has alien powers, but cannot kill Kiona. Maybe the clones are killed. Zef can shape shift?
- monster or human? In the dialogue, zef reveals that if he dies, the town blows up and everyone is killed or something. Kiona decides to kill him anyway?
- Kills Zef, Kiona gets to her dad while the blow up timer is counting down. Confronts him. They get in the carriage, the bomb goes off, blows them up and out of underground, protected by the carriage and they land on above ground land. The town is dead, and Kiona and her dad, maybe a clone or two survive.
